


Fave

by Charming Delinquent (Raven_Ehtar)



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Babysitter Robbie Rotten, Dedicated to Stefán Karl Stefánsson, Fluff, Gen, Hero for a Day, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 05:53:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15966050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Ehtar/pseuds/Charming%20Delinquent
Summary: Sportacus is headed out of town, and while he's gone he recruits the perfect man to watch over the kids. A villain may not seem like the best choice, but really, Robbie Rotten is everyone'sfavoritevillain.





	Fave

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Stefán Karl Stefánsson.
> 
> Thank you. For everything.

Robbie wasn’t sure how he had gotten roped into this. There he’d been, settling in to enjoy his breakfast of coffee cake and hot chocolate with whipped cream and sprinkles when a loud banging had interrupted him. He’d barely managed to avoid flinging his drink across the Lair, while the cake had tumbled to the ground, cinnamon goodness untasted. It was a level of heartbreak he just wasn’t prepared for so early in the morning. 

He’d glared upward at the ceiling, wondering _what_ the children up there could be getting up to that was loud enough to cause a full blown echo in the Lair. It wasn’t until the banging came again, followed by a faint but familiar voice calling his name that he understood.

It wasn’t at all common for Sportacus to come to his Lair to visit, but it had happened often enough that Robbie wasn’t shocked when he showed up at his silo entrance. Still, it _was_ early - only 11 o’clock for heaven’s sake - and he came up blank when he tried to think of any reason why the elf would visit. Robbie had been quiet with his schemes of late, so there was no reason for Sport to come around scolding. So far as he knew there were no events or birthdays for him to try and drag Robbie to. What could the blue flip-flop possibly want out of him?

He’d popped out of the silo entrance to the Lair, glare already in place and eyes narrowed properly in suspicion. There Sportacus had been, wide grin matching the sunny weather, ridiculous mustache only making the smile seem even wider. 

“Good morning, Robbie! I’m glad to see you up and awake so early!”

Robbie had nearly slammed the door shut on him right then, nearly slid back down the tube to his comfy chair and what remained of his breakfast. He didn’t have to deal with this level of brightness and sunshine - he was a villain!

But he hadn’t. Pure curiosity had kept him outside, waiting to see if Sportacus would volunteer his reason for coming. He’d just continued to smile, though. Anyone else and Robbie would have suspected that their remaining silent was some sort of challenge to see which could out-silence the other. Sportacus, though… no. He wasn’t like that. Not a spot of meanness in him at all. It wouldn’t be able to survive the sunshine. No, Sportacus waited because he was _polite_. The absolute…

“Hello, Sportaflop. Is there a reason you’ve interrupted my breakfast?”

“Oh, sorry, Robbie!” By the way he’d grinned, Robbie suspected that he wasn’t sorry at all. He probably thought of it as rescuing him from his own diet. “I didn’t know you would still be eating.”

“Yes, well. Whatever. What do you want? If something’s gone wrong in town, it wasn’t me.”

“No, nothing’s wrong, Robbie.” He’d looked around, as though checking for eavesdroppers, and Robbie’s interest had been instantly piqued. “I actually came here to ask you for a favor,” he’d said in a low voice, leaning toward Robbie conspiratorially. 

Robbie had raised his eyebrows at him, surprised and a little scandalized at the brief thought that maybe Sportacus was at last becoming a little villain-like. “Oh, really? And what kind of favor could _that_ possibly be?”

He’d leaned in even closer, then, coming so close that Robbie had leaned away in order to keep some semblance of personal space, though doing so made his balance on the ladder precarious. “The airship’s run low on water again, and I need to refill it.”

Robbie stared at him, hanging on tight to the ladder. Sportacus stared back, blue eyes unblinking, and Robbie realized that was all he was going to say. Hands starting to go sweaty and the long drop back into the Lair looking more and more preferable to staying up on the surface with a deranged sports elf, he’d given in. “And? What exactly do you want me to do about that, fly the airship?”

Finally Sportacus had leaned back again, allowing Robbie to stop hanging over the long drop. “Of course not. I know you hate heights. No, I just wondered if you would watch over the kids while I’m gone.”

“What?”

That insufferable smile only widened. Seriously, just how much smile could that face hold before it split in half? “I would appreciate it if you’d watch over the kids until I get back. Play with them, keep them company, and make sure they don’t get into trouble. I won’t be gone very long, but I would feel better if someone were watching them.”

“And you decided to ask _me?_ ” Robbie asked incredulously. Maybe the elf had hit his head or something doing all those ridiculous flips. His brain was obviously broken. “You do remember who I am, right? _Robbie. Rotten._ Local villain extraordinaire.”

The smile had softened a little, which, if anything, had only made Robbie even more uneasy. 

“I haven’t forgotten, Robbie Rotten. I know exactly who you are, and I think you are the best choice to watch over the kids. They all like you, you know them all very well, and I trust you to keep them safe.”

That’s what had done it, probably. That stupid little, ‘I trust you,’ has completely befuddled him, thrown him off track and left him unable to mount any sort of counterargument . He’d tried. He’d sputtered and stumbled over his words, trying to find some way of saying that _no,_ he was completely untrustworthy - an enemy of the first water who wouldn’t let this opportunity pass him by and that Sportaloser was a fool for even telling him about his intention to leave town… But the words wouldn’t come. The thought was there, but trying to arrange any words to communicate that thought was like trying to stack ice cubes. The first couple of words were fine, and then it all fell apart. 

So he’d agreed, and now he was _here._ Outside. During the day. Actively going around and checking on the kids to make sure they were all alright. With no magical crystal to alert him the way Sportacus was, he had to go around town and see them all with his own eyes to be sure of their safety. It was incredibly boring, tiring, and he hated every moment of it. He made a mental note to put in some extra effort on his next scheme against the blue elf. He deserved it after this tomfoolery. Robbie was missing his prime nap time! And it wasn’t even as though anyone were in trouble…

The high-pitched, keening scream startled him so much he actually fell flat onto his face.

—•—

“Alright, alright, _alright,_ everyone just… _Calm. Down._ ”

Three of the kids, the little time bombs he was meant to be watching stood before him. The Pink Girl, Stinky and Pigtail Girl, none of them looking directly at him for various reasons. Pink Girl was looking down at the ground, running her hands over her hair again and again, all the while making small, distressed noises. Stinky was scowling and staring at Pigtail Girl, who was very pointedly looking at none of them, choosing instead to stare off into space. 

“Okay,” he said once everyone seemed to have quieted enough to listen to him - all the while trying to calm _himself_ down. “What are _these?_ ”

It was a silly question. He knew exactly what the things he held in his hands were, and he knew more or less how they had wound up tangled in Pink Girl’s and Stinky’s hair. It just seemed like the right thing to ask, like what he was _supposed_ to do. He grimaced at himself. Why _him?_

Pink Girl spoke up first, her voice still a little uneven. “Rubber spiders.”

“Yes,” Stinky put in, eyes narrowed as he pointed at Pigtail Girl. “Spiders that _she_ threw at us!”

“I did not!”

Robbie raised his eyebrow at the girl, who had the grace to look a little abashed. She lowered her eyes under his stare and muttered in a still-defiant little voice, “Well… I didn’t throw very _many…_ ”

Well. That didn’t take much figuring out, and the ‘rescue’ itself had been very simple, if a little frantic. Mission complete, now… Now what?

“Right,” he said, and with a final glance at the spiders in his hands, tossed them away into the bushes. “Yes. Well. All alright, so… everyone scurry off, now.” He made shooing motions, hoping they weren’t expecting a song out of him. 

“Wait!” Pink Girl’s head snapped up and she pointed at the other girl, her face set in an angry frown. “Trixie was mean to us, she should apologize!”

“She should?”

“I was not mean! It was just a _joke!_ ”

“Yes, she should,” Pink Girl said firmly, Stinky nodding as well. 

Robbie was lost in unfamiliar territory. He was much more used to _causing_ trouble, not in repairing the damage afterwards. An apology sounded like the right kind of thing to do, it was the sort of word he’d heard tossed about by authority figures before, and considering the amount of distress the girl’s prank had caused an apology seemed appropriate. But then, she’d said it had only been a joke. Should she apologize if the only problem was the other two not getting it?

He warbled back and forth between the two options. He wasn’t good with this sort of ambiguity. He was much better being firmly on the side of ‘antagonist.’ This thing of playing referee and trying to be some sort of _good guy_ … eugh.

By the time Robbie came to a decision, all three of the kids were staring at him. His nose twitched a little and he swallowed. “Pigtail Girl. Apologize to them for putting spiders in their hair.”

“But-!”

She stopped when she saw the look on Robbie’s face. The girl dropped her head, pouting. “’orry,” she muttered. 

“Good,” Robbie said briskly. “Now you two,” he shooed at them again, “off you go. Go… _play_ … or something.”

Each of them looking a little confused, possibly at just how short the whole interview had been, Pink Girl and Stinky both wandered off, looking back often at Robbie and Pigtail Girl. When they were out of sight, Robbie turned back to the remaining child, hands on his hips.

“Now, you,” he began, and the girl dropped her head again, expecting a lecture, perhaps. Robbie sighed and softened his tone. “We will have to have some lessons in the future on how to properly _get away_ with your pranks, mm? What good is it to have your fun, if your fun is going to be brought down by getting into trouble?”

The girl raised her head, looking up at him with disbelief, and then disbelieving wonder as a smile spread over her face, the familiar, mischievous sparkle returning to her eyes. It made Robbie a little uncomfortable, having that kind of happy affection directed at him. He fidgeted a little, discomfited. 

It was actually a bit of a relief when a muted _boom_ echoed through the air, the ground shaking beneath their feet.

“We’ll get to that later,” he said, and ran off gratefully in what he thought was the direction of the explosion. He was so glad to be pulled away from that happy look aimed at him that he spared no thought to what he might be running _towards_.

—•—

In Robbie’s life, he’d had plenty of accidents. His hobbies of engineering, inventing, cooking and even sewing had all led to various and interesting results, some of them running more along the veins of violent and fantastic than others. Things had fallen apart, malfunctioned, refused to work, melted, burned, exploded or, on one occasion, simply disappeared without trace. If there was anyone who would be understanding of failed attempts at something new it was him. If there was anyone who would be able to pull from their vast experience of the world any sort of wisdom or practical knowledge of how to deal with said failures, then that person was Robbie.

But even with all of that, he found himself at a bit of a loss - and somewhat impressed - standing in the middle of the mess conjured up by Candy Boy.

Running from the scene of the spider infestation, Robbie had come to the child’s house and, because he was a villain and paid no heed to such silly rules as etiquette, ran directly inside. There he had found the aftermath of what appeared to be an elaborate experiment of confectionary. The entire kitchen was coated in a thick and sticky layer of… something. Robbie hesitated to commit to a single definition of what the goop was, or even what it was meant to be. His first inclination was to say that it was some sort of cake batter… but it was far too thick and stringy for that, more closely resembling very soft taffy the way it was beginning to droop from the ceiling. Whatever it was, bright blue and smelling vaguely fruity, it had gotten _everywhere_. 

Including all over the child, whom Robbie completely failed to spot at first. He wore just as much of the mysterious glop as the kitchen and blended perfectly into the walls. It wasn’t until he spoke, startling Robbie enough to make him slip directly into the mess, that he even realized the boy was there. 

He pulled his horrified - and still impressed - gaze away from the walls and to the boy. He looked abashed.

“What exactly were you trying to make?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. I was just seeing what would happen if I mixed a bunch of things I really liked all together.”

Robbie nodded. “Lots of candy.”

“Um.” The boy shifted, looking around at the wreckage of his experiment. “Yeah. And cake mix. And sugar. And syrup. And--“

“I get the idea.” Robbie shifted, the goop stuck to his back from his slip beginning to actually soak through his clothes. Given the witch’s brew the kid had been mixing, he would probably have to throw these clothes out. No way would they ever be the same again, no matter how much he washed them. “So you mixed it all together. Then what?”

“Uh… well, I wasn’t sure how to cook it. So I tried some of everything. Some in the oven, some on the stove, some in the microwave, some in the freezer…”

“And big boom.” He nodded again. It would be hard, if not impossible to know which of the cooking methods had been responsible for the explosion, though _probably_ not the freezer, and in the end it didn’t really matter. There was a mess, which was a sort of trouble, he supposed, and it was his (temporary) job to help with that. “Where are your parents?”

The boy lit up. “Oh, they went to the beach today! Said it was a special day and I could spend it however I wanted.”

“So you try to blow up your house.” He sighed, looking around the ruined kitchen. The thing to do would be to clean it up, which he could do himself in almost no time at all… but that nagging sense of how a _hero_ would handle the situation knocked against his skull again. It wasn’t enough to just get the kid out of the jam - goop, rather - he had gotten himself into. There should be some sort of lesson learned from all of this… right? The easiest option would be to just leave and let his parents find what had been done while they were out, as he doubted that he would be able to clean it all himself before then. But that same nagging voice which said ‘he should learn something from this’ jumped up with ‘that’s kind of mean.’ Robbie groaned, rubbing his face. 

Compromise, that’s what was needed.

“Alright! You go and get in the bath. You can do that on your own, yes? Good. Wash, change your clothes and come back here to clean up the mess. I’ll help.”

The boy trotted off, leaving behind a trail of gummy blue footprints, and Robbie turned his attention to the kitchen. It really was a mess, but…

He snapped his fingers, and the largest ‘chunks’ of the mess disappeared in a purple puff, along with two dishes he’d noticed that were well beyond any hope of future cookery. It wasn’t much, but it would help with the more backbreaking part of the cleanup. Besides which, it wasn’t as though magic was _easy_ just because it looked effortless. 

After that it was a case of scraping what could be scraped off of the walls and counters and scrubbing the rest. By the time a much cleaner Candy Boy came back in, the kitchen was clean enough that there was little danger of the boy getting sticky again. As opposed to Robbie, who was now as much blue as he was purple. He suspected that much of what had left the walls had only done so because it was now attached to _him_. Every time he tried to move the stuff was holding his limbs as still as possible. 

The boy got into the cleaning of the kitchen without any fuss, which Robbie was very grateful for. The day was awkward enough without having to become a disciplinarian as well. A sly look or two confirmed well enough for Robbie that the boy seemed to be learning from his mistake, reasonably contrite as he scrubbed the floor, without actually being _upset_. It was a fair balance, one that Robbie could live with. 

They were just about done, the largest bit of blue left in the kitchen being Robbie himself, when another high pitched shriek cut through the air.

—•—

Robbie couldn’t decide if the situation was better or worse than he’d been expecting after hearing the scream. On one hand, it had been a scream of delight rather than fear or ‘come and rescue me for I am small and puny,’ but on the other hand, the _reason_ for the delight was questionable at best in his opinion.

In the time since he had left the park, someone had brought in a very large trampoline. On it was Pink Girl, bouncing high and shrieking as she did so. Sitting nearby was Pigtail Girl, shouting encouragement and clapping whenever the pink one managed to do anything particularly fancy or impressive. 

Which was where the problem lay, and why Robbie was trying his best to not have the heart attack he felt he was about to have. 

“Little girl, would you please-- No, don’t flip like that-! You almost missed the trampoline-- You almost _didn’t_ miss that branch-! You’re going to break your neck!”

Eventually the bouncing, flipping pink blur settled down, though from the grin on her face it wasn’t because she was taking his warnings seriously. She bounce-walked her way to the edge where Robbie was standing. The trampoline was so tall that it came up to his chest, making it so he had to look up to see Pink Girl properly. She was flushed, her hair ruffled. 

“What on earth are you doing up there?” He demanded before the girl could get a word out. 

If anything, the grin got wider. “Playing! It’s really fun, Robbie, you should try it!”

Robbie drew back from the trampoline as though it meant to bite him. “No, thank you! And I think you ought to get down from there as well, before you get hurt. Do you have any idea of how many injuries these things cause?”

The girl tilted her head at him. “How many?”

“A lot!” Robbie said firmly, despite actually having no idea. 

Pink Girl smiled and shook her head, while behind him Pigtail Girl answered. “Aw, c’mon, Robbie, it’s not that bad! It’s just a trampoline, what could go wrong?”

Perversely, Robbie’s imagination provided several answers to that question. 

“Besides,” Pigtails went on, “we’re practicing some of the flips that Sportacus can do!”

_“What?”_

“Yeah!” Pink Girl bounced a little on her toes. “We’re trying some of the fancy flips that Sportacus does, like doubles or twists or running flips!”

Robbie wasn’t sure his heart could take much more of this. The trampoline was bad enough, but then trying to replicate the stunts that Sportakook was always doing around town? Were these kids _trying_ to kill themselves while they were under his watch? Did they _know_ he was temporarily responsible for them and were doing all of this deliberately? If so then they were capable of much more malicious spite than he had ever given them credit for.

“… Don’t you think this sort of thing should wait until Sportadoof is here to help out? He loves helping with this sort of… stuff.”

“No way!” Both of the girls replied at the same time. Robbie felt horribly ganged up on. What exactly had he done to get himself in this position?

“It’s meant to be a surprise for him,” Pink Girl explained. “Just think how surprised he’ll be to come back and see how much we can do, just like him!”

Robbie pulled a face, privately thinking of how surprised he would also be if all the kids were in splints and braces when he got back. Probably horrified, and then horrifyingly angry at the one who had been meant to be watching them - ie, one Robbie Rotten, put upon villain turned reluctant babysitter. He gave an involuntary shudder at the idea of what his wrath would look like. Sportacus had never been very harsh on Robbie, no matter how destructive or mean spirited his plans had been. In fact, the elf had always been surprisingly nice in the face of Robbie’s schemes. It was almost irritating. But he suspected that finding the kids had come to actual harm would be the thing that put him over the edge to a full-on wrathful hero. 

Robbie decided that he’d rather not ever see that side of the elf, assuming it existed at all. 

He tried to think of some sort of solution, something to keep the girls from hurting themselves while still allowing them to practice their flips, or at least to _feel_ like they were still practicing. He doubted he would have much luck in getting them to actually stop, so, once again, a compromise seemed like the best solution. If he could just think of one. 

He really needed a nap. And a bath. 

“Okay, how about we… you…” He trailed off, hands freezing in mid-gesture. Both of the girls were listening, expectant looks painted on their faces. Robbie panicked. He hadn’t actually come up with anything before he’d started speaking. He’d hoped that if he just sort of jumped in then the rest would fall into place for him. He’d been relying on his genius brain kicking in and spinning out a solution on the fly… but his genius seemed to have abandoned him in his moment of need. Typical. 

Thankfully, just as his brain seemed to tag out of the situation entirely, he was rescued from having to come up with something - probably a distraction - by Pink Girl looking over Robbie’s shoulder with a frown and pointing. “Hey. What’s Stingy doing?”

With much more relief than he ought to have felt, Robbie looked. When he actually saw what Pink Girl was pointing at, that relief quickly evaporated.

—•—

Stinky was actually a much stronger child than he looked. Robbie credited - read: blamed - that on Sportacus and his cursedly effective influence on the kids, and added it as just one more reason to, when he finally succeeded in ejecting the elf from town, making sure he landed on his butt. Not that he needed many more reasons, but one more wouldn’t hurt.

The little greedy boy had attached a kind of trailer to the back of his car. It was basically an open box on wheels, and he was going around town, grabbing anything he liked the look of and sticking it in the trailer. Thus far he had collected several toys, flowers, a tree branch, a shoe, a newspaper, a few weeds, and even two fence posts. In the car itself a stray cat was happily napping. 

The fence posts impressed Robbie on the boy’s strength, but more than that was the fact that his car was powered by pedaling, and he was making reasonably quick progress despite the heavy load.

The boy had parked and was trying to wrestle a mailbox out of the ground, all the while muttering ‘mine’ over and over to himself under his breath. 

Robbie was at a loss. With the other problems he had dealt with, it had been fairly easy to pinpoint what was wrong and either chastise, assist or both. While he could certainly see what was ‘wrong’ in this case, he wasn’t sure he could make the boy see it that way. This was just how he was. Robbie knew that, Sportacus knew that, everyone in town knew that. Had anyone ever really confronted Stinky on this, or had everyone just been turning a blind eye to it all this time and hoping for the best? Robbie could remember the boy’s greed being a problem on occasion. He’d even taken advantage of it himself from time to time, but so far as he knew no one had ever really called him out on it. 

Some small, barely used sense whispered to Robbie, saying that if he _really_ wanted to impress Sportaloon, then he would take that first step with the boy himself. Rather than continuing an apparent pattern, he could take the boy in hand and set him straight. That would show everyone, wouldn’t it?

On the other hand, he was _really_ tired. He was sweaty and still covered in blue sugar goop, and his brain felt like it had been through a wringer. He found himself staring up at the sky, wondering when the elf would be back.

Robbie stopped, shook himself. He almost slapped himself. What was he thinking? He’d been acting nice for a whole afternoon, which was obviously far too long. He was a _villain_. It was time to solve some of these problems in a _villainous way_. 

By the time Stinky gave up on the mailbox and turned back to his car - where his car _had been_ \- Robbie had already pedaled it halfway up the block. Behind him he heard the plaintive call of, “Wait, come back! That’s miiiiine!”

Robbie chuckled to himself and pedaled a little harder.

—•—

To his own dawning horror, Robbie was beginning to see the merits of organized sports. He would choke on his own tongue before he admitted as much out loud, but there were a couple advantages he _could_ see. Outside the obvious negatives of organized sports being, well, _sports_ and therefore fostering the ideology of being _active_ and _healthy_ , the ‘organized’ part had a lot going for it.

Point one: It gave a very good excuse for all of the children to be gathered in one place. Instead of having to keep a watchful eye on an entire town with the children spread out across it, Robbie only had to watch one particular area. It was still a challenge, but much easier. 

Point two: They were all doing the same thing, more or less. Robbie wouldn’t have thought this would make too much of a difference, but it certainly seemed to. With all the kids focused on _one_ activity instead of several, Robbie felt as though he stood a chance of knowing what to expect. 

Point three: He got to boss them around, and they actually _listened_. It was easily his favorite part to the whole enterprise. He realized that there was a built in limit to just how much he could tell them to do - it all had to pertain to the sport they were sporting - but it was still nice to give an order and have it followed. 

Point four: There were rules. Normally Robbie had an instinctive need to break as many rules as possible, but the ones set in place for the game were helpful. They kept the children behaving in predictable ways and, to his shock, self-regulating. When one child broke a rule, it was usually to a chorus of voices calling them out. 

Robbie couldn’t help but wonder how much all of this factored in to Sportadoof’s love of sports. He made a personal note to ask him. 

So it was that Robbie found himself in one of the very last places he would have ever expected himself to wind up. On a baseball diamond, willingly if not very happily participating, without even a possibility of getting rid of the Sportface for doing so. If only the him of yesterday could see him now. He probably would have collapsed with shock. 

He did his best to pick the position which required the least movement, which was the catcher. He claimed that spot and refused to give it up, but the kids didn’t seem to mind. They played on, with no explosions, fence posts, rubber spiders or looming threats of broken limbs to mar the afternoon. He wasn’t quite certain, but he _might_ be feeling… _good_ … playing a- a _sport_. 

He tried not to shudder too much. It was another thing on the ever expanding List of Things to Smack the Blue Elf For. 

They hadn’t been playing long when Robbie became aware of a nagging feeling that something was wrong. It had been there for some time before the game had started, but there was something about the game itself which made it much worse. It wasn’t a horrible, sickly feeling; just one that hovered, a vague sense that something was a little off. Unbalanced, like a boat weighted too much on one side. 

It took a while for Robbie to figure out what it was. The game went through several rounds before comprehension finally dawned. Standing up, Robbie counted the kids to be sure he was right. 

One, two…

“Isn’t there supposed to be one more of you?”

The kids all stopped and looked round themselves, apparently noticing for the first time that there was one missing from their number. 

Pigtail Girl pinned down who it was first. “Pixel’s not here!”

“Oh, yeah…”

“He must still be at his house,” Pink Girl said, looking towards the house festooned with satellite dishes, cameras and antennae. 

Stinky, who was acting as pitcher, also looked that way. “Must still be playing my new game.”

“Yours?”

“Yes.”

Robbie frowned. It was true. All throughout this morning’s aggravations and adventures, the Tech Boy had been conspicuously absent. He must have registered it on some level, but been too distracted with the disasters being generated by the other four to really think about or even acknowledge it. With everyone gathered in one place and relatively calm it was more obvious. 

He looked over at Tech Boy’s house, his nose itching, close to twitching. His first instinct was to go and bring the boy out to play as well - not out of any particular desire for the child to get exercise, but for the same reason that the other children were all gathered in one place: To keep an eye on him. His second and much more persuasive instinct was to just let the kid stay in his house, playing his games. He hadn’t been causing any trouble, the _one_ child that could claim that distinction, and by bringing him out, Robbie might only encourage troublemaking. Besides which, he was already watching four kids, did he really want to add another one?

On the other hand, while he was out of sight, who knew what he was _really_ getting up to? Tech Boy had a knack for inventing, and a number of his inventions had caused Robbie grief in the past. He really didn’t need a brand new device swooping down on him just when he seemed to have everything under control. 

He took off his catcher’s mask and glove and tossed them to Candy Boy, who fumbled them and fell over. 

“You guys stay here and keep playing,” he said as firmly as he could manage. “I’ll go and, ah, see if he wants to play, too.”

The kids exchanged a quick look that went almost unnoticed by Robbie. When Pink Girl spoke up it seemed to be by a silent consensus that she was the best one to do the speaking. “Um. Don’t you think one of us should go instead - or with you? I mean, we’re his friends and he probably won’t know what to think if you, um…”

Robbie frowned, understanding well enough what she was getting at. _He_ was a villain, but _they_ were Tech Boy’s friends. If anyone was going to have more luck in convincing him to come outside and play it was one of them. However, now that he had them all gathered in one place, Robbie was loath to allow any of them to wander off. Who knew what they would get up to? Even leaving the area himself, leaving them all of them unwatched but in one spot seemed preferable to that. 

He shook his head at Pink Girl. “No, you stay right here. I’ll get Tech Boy and be right back.” He narrowed his eyes, looking at each of them. “Stay. Right. Here,” he emphasized, letting his customary bad guy growl come through. He was pleased to see a widening eye or two, the stiffening of limbs which told him they had also heard the shift in his tone. Hopefully it meant he would be obeyed even after he left. 

Feeling a little more like himself, Robbie left the diamond to track down the last of the children.

—•—

Out of habit, Robbie climbed a ladder up to Tech Boy’s window rather than going through the front door. He hated heights, but going through a door like he was some sort of friend or something was worse. Thankfully the window was open so he could cautiously peek in.

It didn’t take long to spot the boy. He wasn’t in bed or at his computer chair, but the tell-tale orange locks were peeking up over the back of his small couch. Save the glow of his monitors, the room was dim, and it was easy to make out that one of those glows came from the much larger screen of the television, haloing the boy’s head in flickering light. 

It looked like Stinky was right. Tech Boy had a new game and was eschewing company and the outdoors in favor of staying on his couch, quiet and well behaved, in order to enjoy a fantasy digital world. 

Suddenly and unexpectedly, Robbie was hit with a wave of nostalgia so hard it made him wobble on the ladder. 

He missed the old days so much, the days before Sportacus had come to Lazy Town and turned it on its head with his energetic antics. In those days, _this_ was what he could be trusted to see when he looked through his periscope: kids inside, playing sedentary games or eating good, sugary snacks. It had been so peaceful, so calm, and it wasn’t as though any of the kids had been _unhappy_ with that life. They’d all had their hobbies and their distractions. The only one who’d even _thought_ of being unhappy was Pink Girl, who didn’t even _belong_ in Lazy Town, like that blue doof she’d brought soon after her. 

Neither of them belonged in Lazy Town, nor did the obsession with physical activity and health food. _This_ was what really belonged in Lazy Town, this one last little speck of its former glory left in Tech Boy. 

Stronger than ever before, Robbie felt a kinship with orange top, as well as almost unreasonably grateful for his presence. Without him, Robbie would be surrounded by nothing by health nuts. 

He almost left the boy where he was, content that he was being kinder to the boy by leaving him happily playing his game alone in his room. He made it all the way down the ladder and was on his way back to the cursed baseball diamond - he could already hear the rest of them playing and shrieking - before the thought of how the others might react if he returned without their friend hit him. They’d probably insist that Tech Boy come outside to play, even if he _was_ having fun by himself, and would probably all scamper over in a loud, clamoring rush to drag him out and join their game. 

_Ugh._

He went back, climbed the ladder again, and clambered in the window. It wasn’t very graceful, even by his own standards. His feet tangled together as he was pulling himself through, and he flopped to the floor with a loud thump. It was a sign of just how absorbed in his game the boy was that he didn’t so much as twitch. 

Draping himself over the back of the couch, Robbie watched the game for a while, catching his breath from the double climb up to the room. When it no longer felt like he was going to pass out onto the floor, he leaned closer to Tech Boy and cleared his throat. 

That got his attention. Tech Boy gave a strangled kind of squawk and jumped, lifting up completely out of his seat and falling over, his controller flying out of his hands. Robbie watched, lips twitching. It was by far the most entertaining thing he had seen since waking up this morning. 

Tech Boy stared up at him from the floor. “Robbie Rotten! Jeez, what are you tryin’ to do, give me a heart attack?”

He tilted his head. “Might be.”

“Jeez,” the boy repeated, running a hand over his face. From the TV screen there came a series of loud bleeps, making the boy’s head snap up again in alarm. “Jeez!” He dove for the lost controller, snatching it up and wrestling with it midair in attempt to rescue his on screen character from its impending doom. 

Whatever it was he was trying to do - the pictures on the screen were all moving too fast and chaotically for Robbie to make much sense of them - didn’t work. The noise came to a crescendo of tangled bleeps and metallic squeaking before dying back down in a sad series of ‘bloops.’ Tech Boy groaned, slumping down. “Dang it,” he said. “And I was so close to the final boss.”

Robbie stared at the screen. The ‘Game Over’ was much easier to understand than the confusing nest of whirling lights and flying pixels. He’d played some games like Tech Boy enjoyed, but hadn’t found quite as much enjoyment as the children seemed to. The graphics went by too fast to keep track of, and the sounds were too loud and garbled to make any sense on most of the newest games. He understood the appeal, however, the pride of playing a game well, and the disappointment when one was unable to complete it. 

“When was the last time you saved?”

“Oh,” the boy thought, scrunching up his face. “About… I don’t know. After the last big fight. Which was a while ago, I guess.” He sighed. “It’s going to take a long time to get back where I was.”

“Hold it,” Robbie put out a hand to keep the boy from restarting his game immediately. “As much as I would love to let you stay inside all day long, your friends would like you to come out and play,” his mouth twisted around the distasteful word, “ _baseball_.”

“Oh. Really?”

Robbie blinked. Of all the responses he'd been expecting, that hadn’t been one of them. That response had been uncharacteristically… subdued. Even the boy’s body language seemed lower in energy than the norm, staring down at his controller and tapping the buttons without actually pressing any of them. Robbie frowned. He would have thought the boy would be thrilled to go out and join in on the rambunctious activities once he knew about them. Thanks to Sportaloon, that was the go-to response from everyone in Lazy Town anymore, rather than the far more rational response to scoff and turn on the TV with a bucket of popcorn in hand. 

This response didn’t seem to fit either mold. 

“… The rest of the br… uh. The kids are already down there and playing,” he tried, seeing if he could tease out a better reaction. “Having fun and… sweating. Things like that. Would you like to join in?”

Tech Boy continued to fidget, his controller seeming to fascinate even when it wasn’t acting as a component to his game. “Well, sure. I mean- normally I would love to play with everyone, it’s just…” He shrugged. 

Robbie was at something of a loss, himself. He wasn’t good with reading kids, or people in general. Probably something to do with his living alone for so long. It didn’t bother him most of the time. After all, most of the time he barely interacted with anyone, adult or child, so why would he need to know how to communicate with any of them? He felt the lack of those communication skills, now, though, and wished he had them, if just for a little bit. It would help to understand why Tech Boy was acting strangely. 

“It’s just what? Are you sick?” Even as he suggested it, horrible visions of having to care for a sick child flashed through his mind, plus whatever sort of reaction Sport might have on finding one when he returned. Would Robbie get blamed for a sick child on his watch, if he hadn’t been the cause?

His train of visualizations was stopped short when the boy shook his head. “No, I’m not sick. I just… don’t really feel like going outside today, y’know?”

Robbie nodded vigorously, abruptly on much firmer ground. “Oh, yes, I understand _that_. I didn’t want to come outside today _either_ , until the blue hippity-hop pulled me out to watch over the whole town while he’s gone.”

That got the boy to look up at him, his eyes wide behind his visor. “Sportacus is gone? For how long?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. However long it takes to fill his flying death trap with more water. Which better not take too much longer,” he added darkly. He couldn’t remember if the elf had actually given him an estimate on when he would be back, but he had made it sound like the water thing wouldn’t take very long. _He had better be back soon,_ he thought to himself. _I’m not doing this for more than a day._

His answer seemed to reassure the boy, who stood up and stretched, wincing. “I guess I might have been staying inside a bit _too_ long,” he commented, rubbing at his back. “Sportacus left town, baseball games are happening, and I’ve super cramped up all without noticing.”

“So are you coming out to play or not?”

“Well…” He looked toward the window Robbie had climbed through. There was no way he could see so far, but it did face towards the baseball diamond. “I still kinda want to stay inside, but baseball sounds like fun, too. If everyone else is out and playing, I feel like I ought to go out, it’s just…” He leaned towards Robbie a little, lowering his voice. Robbie had a flashback to that morning and how Sportacus had acted so conspiratorial. “Sometimes, I just really like to spend time by myself, y’know? Work on my own projects, play my own games, without everyone else around. I love my friends, but… they can be pretty exhausting.”

Tech Boy was officially Robbie’s favorite. He empathized so strongly with the child in that moment that he actually felt tears spring into his eyes. 

Again, that impulse to let the boy stay exactly where he was came over him. After all, it certainly seemed to be his preference, and Robbie wasn’t about to drag the boy anywhere. Not when it was _sports_ he was being dragged to. But, as last time, another thought came barging in to disrupt that perfectly acceptable plan of action. There was still the looming specter of the other children wanting to know where their friend was if Robbie returned without him, and beyond them was Sportacus. Staying inside might not count as ‘being in trouble,’ but Robbie had no doubt that Sportapester would want to know why Robbie hadn’t at least _tried_ to get him to go outside. 

He decided to compromise again. One real try at bringing him out, and if he refused, then that was that. It was Tech Boy’s time, he could decide how he wanted to spend it. 

“I understand. I like to spend most of my time alone, too. That’s how I wanted to spend _today_ before I was dragged into all of this. But now I’m out there, there’s no help for it. If you come out, too, then at least we would both have someone else who knew what that was like, right? And your friends would like to see you out there.”

There. And if that didn’t work to convince him, then that was too bad. Robbie would at least be able to say that he’d _tried._

The boy considered what Robbie said, his face clouding slightly. “You get tired around people too, Robbie?”

“Of course I do,” he snapped. “You’re all so energetic, it’s exhausting!”

“But you’ll still be out there too, with all the rest of us, playing?”

“Under great duress, but… yes.”

Tech Boy nodded, looking down once again at the controller in his hands. A few moments went by in silence before he looked up again, a small smile on his face. “Then I guess I can go out today, too! If Robbie Rotten can get out to play, then I sure can!”

“Terrific,” Robbie grumbled, and got up to trudge back to the ladder, mission accomplished. 

“Uh, Robbie…?”

“What is it, kid?”

“Why are you covered in blue goop?”

—•—

By the time Sportacus returned to Lazy Town it was getting quite late. Much later than he had intended it to be by the time he got back, but he’d had a little trouble with a contrary wind and the chains leading off the pedals that powered his airship. In fact it was edging up close to dinner time for most of the residents, almost too late to quickly check on everyone before he went to bed himself. He hoped Robbie hadn’t had too hard a time.

He found the kids, all five of them, in the park and winding down from a game of baseball. He almost expected them to ask him to play, and had his excuses why it would be best to go home and to sleep all prepared, but none of the kids actually seemed all that interested. Apparently they had all had a busy day and were more willing than usual to go home for the night. 

Robbie, however, was nowhere to be seen. 

When he asked the kids about it, more than a few grins were exchanged. To answer his question, Stephanie took him by the hand and led him to the bench just outside the park. There, curled up on his side and lightly snoring was the town villain, blissfully asleep and, by the state of his clothes, very deserving of the rest. 

“I think we wore him out,” Stephanie confided to him in a low voice. She looked at the villain with fondness. “But he did a good job watching out for us today. The baseball was his idea!”

Sportacus smiled at Robbie too. He knew he could trust the so-called villain to watch over the town. In his own way, he cared about it just as much as Sportacus. There was no way he would allow anything untoward befall the town. In fact, Sportacus rather suspected that if anything _did_ happen to Lazy Town or its residents, the vengeance Robbie Rotten would focus on whatever had befallen them would be a hundred times worse than anything Sportacus would come up with. 

After seeing all the kids off home, Sportacus returned to Robbie and gathered the villain up very carefully in his arms. He snorted and turned a little in his sleep so he was leaning more against Sportacus’ chest, but otherwise didn’t stir. 

It was a long walk back to Robbie’s Lair, and tricky to get down the tube while carrying Robbie, but he managed. It wasn’t until he was setting him back into his favorite orange fluffy chair - wishing he could do something about the state of his clothes before he did so - that Robbie stirred for real. 

He shifted, snorted, frowned, and very slowly opened his eyes a fraction, to focus on Sportacus, who was still leaning over him. 

“Sporta… flip?” His voice was thick with sleep, but intelligible. 

“Yes, Robbie? What is it?” He leaned back in to catch whatever the villain had to tell him. 

Robbie blinked a little, his head weaving uncertainly in the air. Eventually, and with some apparent difficulty, he managed, “I… _hate_ you.” And with that, he allowed his head to flop back into the orange fluff, asleep once again. 

Sportacus chuckled. “I know, Robbie.”

He dug out Robbie’s blanket and draped it over him to be sure he would stay warm through the night, and stood for a moment, watching the man sleep a very well deserved sleep. It was one of the few times he allowed himself to really smile on Robbie the way he wanted to, with no danger of his grin being taken as ‘plotting.’ Just a wide, fond smile for his softie of an enemy. 

“I love you, too.”

He left quietly back to his airship, wishing Robbie happy dreams of cake. 

“Good night, Robbie Rotten.”


End file.
